Whether you’re online or offline, getting people’s pronouns right matters. But sometimes, we mix them up or use the wrong ones, even if we don’t mean to. Here are 18 situations when this might happen, why it happens, and how it’s not meant to cause offense.
Job Interviews
Job interviews can be pretty nerve-wracking, and sometimes, candidates and interviewers accidentally use the wrong pronouns. They might talk about each other or previous employers with incorrect pronouns, which doesn’t necessarily come from a place of judgment. Usually, people are just nervous and trying to make good impressions.
Multilingual Moments
In situations where people are speaking many different languages, it’s completely normal to make a mistake with pronouns. After all, languages don’t follow the same pronoun rules, and translating directing can lead to errors. And when you have to go between gendered and non-gendered languages, it’s a recipe for disaster.
Taking to Older People
Older people sometimes just use outdated language because they don’t realize it’s not politically correct. They might not even understand the big deal about pronoun preferences, which can cause them to mix them up. It doesn’t mean being prejudiced. They just don’t get why younger people care so much.
Academic Papers and Research
Writing an academic paper isn’t easy, and having to deal with anonymous or hypothetical people when writing one makes it even harder. Sometimes, the pronouns just don’t stick, and it’s easy to lose track when you’re so focused on data and theories. Academic writers aren’t aiming to confuse people. It’s just a little difficult to get these little things right.
Legal Documents
Lawyers and judges have their work cut out for them when they’re figuring out “he,” “she,” and “they” in all those stacks of legal documents. Court papers are meant to be precise, but they can soon become a mess of generic terms and pronouns that aren’t pointing clearly to anyone anymore. In such a high-stakes environment, it’s easy to make a mistake.
Seminars
Seminars are usually a mix of people from all walks of life, and speakers might get confused over pronouns when they’re trying to talk to each other. They might not recognize that someone’s pronouns are different from what they expect, which isn’t meant to be hurtful. It’s just a little error.
Corporate Training
Getting a new hire’s pronouns wrong is pretty common during corporate training sessions. After all, these are people who have probably never met before, and it takes a while to get everyone’s pronouns right. It’s just a part of the learning process to figure out who’s who in the office, and there’s nothing wrong with that.
Co-Working Spaces
In co-working spaces, freelancers usually make their introductions over coffee breaks and quick meetings. As these moments are so brief, it’s easy for them to make a mistake, especially since everyone’s so keen to make a connection. They’re all trying to keep things relaxed, but sometimes, that involves guessing wrong in the middle of a conversation.
Sports Commentary
Sports commentators have to think on their feet as they’re calling plays and players in the heat of the moment. As such, it’s natural for them to fumble pronouns because they might not know the players well, or they might be caught up in the moves they’re making instead. They might even have outdated information about the players, which can cause some pronoun penalties.
Tech Support
Whenever you get a call from tech support, they’ve usually just got a name or an account to go by. That means it’s usually a 50/50 shot if they guess the pronoun right, which aren’t exactly the best odds. Even if they get it wrong, remember that they’re just trying to fix your issues, not make them worse by mixing up pronouns. Thankfully, there are steps you can take to avoid this.
Robots and AI
Customer service bots are becoming more common in online and physical stores, trying to solve our problems. But since they’re only pieces of tech, they’ll sometimes default to “sir” or “ma’am,” just based on our names or totally at random. Even though they might be getting smarter, they’ll still make some mistakes with pronouns.
Ride-Sharing Apps
If you’re using a ride-sharing app and the driver’s heading your way, sometimes the profile you see doesn’t make it clear who’s who. Those quick messages to find your ride can cause drivers and passengers alike to mix up pronouns. You might even slip up before you even get in the car, which can’t be helped.
Restaurant Order
When you’re ordering from a restaurant online or over the phone, getting the right pronouns is usually the last thing on the customer service agent’s mind. They might mishear your name or just take a wild guess based on what you bought because they’re just trying to make sure you get the right order. Is there really anything wrong with that?
Email Newsletters
Those email newsletters piling up in your inbox might sometimes muddle up your pronouns, especially when they’re mass emails that are meant to feel personal. A “Dear Sir” could end up in a “Ma’am’s” inbox, even if it’s not supposed to. Sometimes, they just don’t know what to use, or there could just be a technical glitch, so it’s nothing to get angry about.
Tourist Spots
At any busy tourist spot, you’ll probably find a ton of guides and vendors talking to people there. They’re dealing with tourists from all corners of the globe, so it’s no surprise that it can be a bit of a gamble for them to choose the right pronoun. After all, they’re just guessing based on a quick look or a name they’ve overheard. You can’t blame them for that.
In the Gym
The gym is where everyone’s trying to be their best self, but unfortunately, they’re not always able to do that verbally. For example, personal trainers and class instructors are just trying to give encouragement, and they’re not necessarily thinking about what pronouns to use. And with such quick introductions and loud music, it’s easy to get things confused.
Art Galleries
If you walk through an art gallery, you might hear people talking about the artists or patrons using pronouns they’ve heard from conversations. Unless they’re experts on the particular artist, they might not know which one to use correctly. That abstract art can lead to abstract pronouns and people getting their wires crossed.
Public Transit
Mixing up pronouns on public transportation is pretty routine. After all, you’ve likely never met those other people before, and you’ve got no idea how they prefer to be addressed. People make a guess on which ones to use, and if they get them wrong, they’re not always trying to be nasty.
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